Tipping as a race issue: Waiters and diners, mutually wary

by Jerry Large
Seattle Times staff columnist

A few years ago a student in a journalism class I was teaching wrote a
column I still remember.

She was helping put herself through college by working as a waitress
at a restaurant downtown and discovered a phenomenon that troubled
her. The wait staff would sometimes grumble about Canadians. And if a
party of black people came in, they would avoid waiting on that table.

It turned out "Canadians" was how the staff referred to black
customers so as not to be overheard making what might be construed as
racially biased comments. I do hope some poor Canadian didn't
overhear.

The young writer, feeling bad for the customers and upset with her
co-workers, would serve black customers herself, at first anyway.

Soon enough she began to share her co-workers' view.

Black customers didn't tip as well as other customers, and a few
didn't tip at all. And worse, they could be demanding and touchy about
any perceived slight.

She felt bad about her changing attitude, partly because it violated
her sense of herself, and partly because not all customers fit the
pattern. This situation is common, but almost always plays out without
discussion across racial lines.

I'm very conscious of my behavior and tipping in restaurants. I want
to leave a good impression, partly due to my assumption that servers
might have some bias against me. When waiters are especially nice, I
sometimes overdo. It's dumb all around.

I was reminded of the young server when I saw a report on race and
tipping from the Center for Hospitality Research at Cornell
University.

Waiters and black customers are both wary of each other, it said.
Black people get poorer service, waiters get poor tips and the cycle
keeps reinforcing itself.

It wasn't long ago that laws changed to allow black people into
businesses that would not have permitted us before, and we weren't
always welcomed warmly.

Many black folks weren't up to speed on the culture of restaurant
dining as it is practiced in more affluent communities. Surveys find
an attitude difference too, as black folks wonder why restaurants
don't just pay their help a decent salary to begin with.

The report's author, Cornell professor Michael Lynn, wrote, "... Many
restaurant servers dislike waiting on Black customers, deliver
inferior service to Black guests on whom they must wait, and refuse to
work in restaurants with a predominantly Black clientele."

There are differences between white tipping and that of Latinos and
Asians as well, but the report said those differences aren't as great.

One waiter said, "... all the servers I work with hate having to wait
on minorities, Black people, in particular, (and over half or our wait
staff is Black!!!)."

There is less of a tipping gap as income and education go up, but it
doesn't entirely disappear. Also it isn't just a black/white thing, in
that the race of the server doesn't seem to affect tip size.

Studies have found servers leery of other groups as well, "foreigners,
women, teenagers, the elderly and anyone bearing coupons."

The Cornell study mentioned other surveys that found white people were
twice as likely to be familiar with the 15- to 20-percent rule.
Sometimes black customers tip a flat amount that stays the same
regardless of the bill size, so that it can be generous for a small
bill, but not so good for a fancier spread.

Tipping shows up everywhere, not just in restaurants, and it can get
terribly complicated. Whole books have been written on the topic, and
many people feel some discomfort with it. A lot depends on whether the
circumstances are familiar to you.

Black people tip some servers well — hotel maids and bartenders for
example — sometimes giving them much more than white customers do.

People learn about tipping by growing up in a certain social strata,
by being employed in jobs that include tips or from someone who has
been in one of those jobs.

It's even more complicated. One survey found that customers tip white
cab drivers more than black drivers. That includes black customers.

Etiquette guides say tipping is an option, but it really isn't. A lot
of employers rely on tips to make up for small paychecks. It's part of
the cost of the meal.

Lynn has suggested restaurants do some outreach to black churches for
instance, or place informative placards in their businesses, and that
they coach servers to give their best to all customers.

Like a lot of problems, this one lives on assumptions and silence. A
little talk would be toxic to it.

Jerry Large: 206-464-3346 or jlarge@seattletimes.com.
Copyright (c) 2006 The Seattle Times Company

[Thanks to David (Sky) Enroth, who added the following comments:

Wasn't it Art Linkletter that said, "People are funny!" Have you ever
heard an inspiring sermon preached about Jesus and the least of these,
and then watched parishioners ignore the beggar begging on the church
steps as they walked outside into the noonday sun through the church
doors after greeting the pastor with accolades after the service? I
wonder what the beggar's shoes would feel like on my feet?

Tipping a waiter or waitress for service is in yet another realm of
customary or ordinary behavior. I tip for good service which I believe
manifests in a variety of ways: fast service, a warm greeting, a
smile, et cetera. I don't tip for poor or rude service. One of my
friends, who isn't wealthy, tips a bar waitress $3 each visit whether
he has one beer, two, or a few. He tips for bad service too.

We're all different. We come in many sizes and shapes with just as
many interesting ways of behaving. Some of it good, and some of it not
so godly, I'm afraid ... Sky]