Repubs pick a fight on Vietnam while Bush ruins America... Is the nation drunk?
by Mark Morford
So, let's see: Bona-fide war hero turned incredibly
articulate, educated, gifted Vietnam War protester and
respected senator
( http://www.awolbush.com/kerry-vs-bush.asp) on one
side, alcoholic AWOL failed-businessman born-again
pampered daddy's boy evangelical Christian on the
other. Is this really the contest? Bush slugs gin and
tonics like Evian while Kerry is accused of ... what
again? Not being incredibly heroic enough? Wow...
...And isn't it hilarious how the absolute worst thing
the Right has been able to dredge up about John Kerry
is that he might sort of maybe have exaggerated some
facts about his various Vietnam medals and acts of and
valor and deeds of astounding heroism, which is sort
of like saying well sure you saved 10 babies from that
burning building, but jeez, you were wearing special
shoes at the time and by the way couldn't you have
saved 11? Traitor!
And how hard should we guffaw while we note that, as
Kerry was volunteering in Vietnam and earning his
medals and risking his life in the most volatile and
ugly and pointless and lethal and hideous war in
American history unless you count Iraq, which you
really really should, Dubya was "serving" in the Air
National Guard, which we all know translates to mean
"hangin' down in Tijuana slamming tequila shooters and
annoying the waitresses, all while praising Jesus that
he had a daddy who could keep him away from scary
complicated violent stuff."
Whoa. Let me take that back. That was totally out of
line and inappropriate and disrespectful of our fine
incoherent president, and I have absolutely no proof
that Dubya was such an embarrassment, such an
incompetent AWOL serviceman. Very sorry.
After all, as I've mentioned in this column before, no
one really knows what Bush was doing all those blurry,
gin-soaked years in the National Guard. No one knows,
because all of Dubya's military-service records just
recently disappeared from Pentagon archives. Poof!
Just like that! And then some of the missing payroll
records were magically "found" again, though they
still don't answer any questions regarding Bush's
whereabouts that year. Imagine! Isn't it funny? What a
thing.
So, let's see: Bona-fide war hero turned incredibly
articulate, educated, gifted Vietnam War protester and
respected senator on one side, alcoholic AWOL
failed-businessman born-again pampered daddy's boy
evangelical Christian on the other. Is this really the
contest? Bush slugs gin and tonics like Evian while
Kerry is accused of ... what again? Not being
incredibly heroic enough? Wow.
This is not, apparently, a hallucination. Kerry really
is being forced to defend his well-documented war
record, despite how all the proofs are there, in
public view, on the candidate's own Web site, with
nothing to hide and for all to see, whereas Dubya was
(and still is) a famously inept embarrassment to the
military, and is being forced to defend nothing about
his own spoiled spoon-fed life, as he humiliates the
nation at every utterance and attacks Kerry (and, by
extension, John McCain) via GOP-sponsored henchmen
while large chunks of his own embarrassing records
have just, um, "disappeared."
What, too bitter? Resentful? Too much like I advocate
stringing Karl Rove up by his large intestine and
slapping him with a rainbow flag until he cries? All
apologies.
Hey, it happens. Sometimes you just gotta purge. Vent.
Let it all out. Because, really, it all makes you ask:
Is everyone on drugs? Mass delusional? Are we just
blind? Or is the vicious GOP spin machine really that
powerful? Why, yes, yes, it is. And isn't it just the
funniest thing?
But, wait, there's more. The GOP is also accusing
Kerry of a nasty bout of "flip flopping" on a handful
of issues. Griping that he's changed his mind on a few
key pieces of legislation, not the least of which is
his support for war on Iraq. And the USA Patriot Act.
Which is, you know, sort of true.
But, then again, not really, not considering how
nearly every single congressperson was equally duped
by the vicious GOP war machine, the outright WMD lies
and BushCo's post-9/11 propaganda and the invidious
USA Patriot Act midnight ream-through. Hell, Kerry was
just as misled as the rest of us.
Is Kerry culpable for his own choices and for making
errors in judgment and for not always being absolutely
flawlessly progressive in his decisions? Hell, yes.
But does his record of such errors pale in comparison
to Bush's mile-high ream of lies and flip-flops and
outright slaps in the face of your humanity? Oh my God
yes, yes, it does.
But lo, let us not hold back any longer. Let us now
laugh out loud, hold our sides in pain, gasp for air
as we look at the BushCo "flip flop" record, in sum.
Let us observe the short list of issues about which
BushCo has either completely reversed his position, or
has simply openly lied to the nation about to further
his administration's shockingly small-minded,
self-serving corporate agenda:
The creation of the 9/11 commission. The Iraq WMD
investigation. The Israeli/Palestine conflict. Nation
building. Same-sex marriage. Veterans' benefits. The
value of Osama bin Laden. The Saddam/al Qaeda link.
North Korea. The U.N. vote on Iraq. "Mission
accomplished." Ahmed Chalabi. Steel tariffs. The
Department of Homeland Security. Campaign-finance
reform. Energy policy. Hybrid cars. The deficit.
Assault weapons. Abortion. Science. Global warming.
The environment.
And the list, as they say, goes on. And on. And on.
It's a masterful deflection by the GOP spin doctors,
really, away from Bush's truly appalling record of
flagrant deceit and his title as the hands-down worse
environmental president in the history of the United
States, toward Kerry's much more highly respected
record, wherein he has, among other accomplishments,
earned the highest possible rating from various
international environmental groups.
And, finally, isn't it funny -- in a nauseating,
soul-mauling sort of way -- that 52 American soldiers
have died in BushCo's completely useless little Iraq
war just this month alone. How very touching, their
noble sacrifice. Too bad Bush doesn't care.
Let us just laugh and laugh at how the media barely
covers these pedestrian, boring deaths anymore,
instead allowing the GOP to turn the debate into one
about a miserable, lost war that happened nearly 30
years ago, all while U.S. soldiers continue to die
every day, right now, for no justifiable reason
whatsoever.
Yes, let us laugh until we cry. Let us note how the
Bush-induced death toll is now up to 964 U.S. soldiers
-- a staggering 855 above the total since the
infamous, insulting "Mission accomplished" quip --
which is, if the GOP plays it just so, right on track
to reach 1,000 U.S. dead by the time the Republican
convention kicks into high gear. What fun!
And that 1,000th soldier will fall in abject pain, his
or her life utterly wasted for a cause that never
really existed, that no one actually believes in, that
was all built on a lie to begin with. And he or she
will die just as all the war hawks and all the
right-wing homophobes and all the cigar-chompin'
corporate CEOs gather in New York and pop their
champagne and cheer the true triumvirate o' GOP
happiness: God, guns and money.
Yes, it's enough to make you laugh out loud. Until you
don't.
[ Excerpted from "Notes & Errata" by Mark Morford, August 27, 2004, "http://sfgate.com/. Mark Morford is a columnist for SFGate.com, San Francisco, CA. ]
So, let's see: Bona-fide war hero turned incredibly
articulate, educated, gifted Vietnam War protester and
respected senator
( http://www.awolbush.com/kerry-vs-bush.asp) on one
side, alcoholic AWOL failed-businessman born-again
pampered daddy's boy evangelical Christian on the
other. Is this really the contest? Bush slugs gin and
tonics like Evian while Kerry is accused of ... what
again? Not being incredibly heroic enough? Wow...
...And isn't it hilarious how the absolute worst thing
the Right has been able to dredge up about John Kerry
is that he might sort of maybe have exaggerated some
facts about his various Vietnam medals and acts of and
valor and deeds of astounding heroism, which is sort
of like saying well sure you saved 10 babies from that
burning building, but jeez, you were wearing special
shoes at the time and by the way couldn't you have
saved 11? Traitor!
And how hard should we guffaw while we note that, as
Kerry was volunteering in Vietnam and earning his
medals and risking his life in the most volatile and
ugly and pointless and lethal and hideous war in
American history unless you count Iraq, which you
really really should, Dubya was "serving" in the Air
National Guard, which we all know translates to mean
"hangin' down in Tijuana slamming tequila shooters and
annoying the waitresses, all while praising Jesus that
he had a daddy who could keep him away from scary
complicated violent stuff."
Whoa. Let me take that back. That was totally out of
line and inappropriate and disrespectful of our fine
incoherent president, and I have absolutely no proof
that Dubya was such an embarrassment, such an
incompetent AWOL serviceman. Very sorry.
After all, as I've mentioned in this column before, no
one really knows what Bush was doing all those blurry,
gin-soaked years in the National Guard. No one knows,
because all of Dubya's military-service records just
recently disappeared from Pentagon archives. Poof!
Just like that! And then some of the missing payroll
records were magically "found" again, though they
still don't answer any questions regarding Bush's
whereabouts that year. Imagine! Isn't it funny? What a
thing.
So, let's see: Bona-fide war hero turned incredibly
articulate, educated, gifted Vietnam War protester and
respected senator on one side, alcoholic AWOL
failed-businessman born-again pampered daddy's boy
evangelical Christian on the other. Is this really the
contest? Bush slugs gin and tonics like Evian while
Kerry is accused of ... what again? Not being
incredibly heroic enough? Wow.
This is not, apparently, a hallucination. Kerry really
is being forced to defend his well-documented war
record, despite how all the proofs are there, in
public view, on the candidate's own Web site, with
nothing to hide and for all to see, whereas Dubya was
(and still is) a famously inept embarrassment to the
military, and is being forced to defend nothing about
his own spoiled spoon-fed life, as he humiliates the
nation at every utterance and attacks Kerry (and, by
extension, John McCain) via GOP-sponsored henchmen
while large chunks of his own embarrassing records
have just, um, "disappeared."
What, too bitter? Resentful? Too much like I advocate
stringing Karl Rove up by his large intestine and
slapping him with a rainbow flag until he cries? All
apologies.
Hey, it happens. Sometimes you just gotta purge. Vent.
Let it all out. Because, really, it all makes you ask:
Is everyone on drugs? Mass delusional? Are we just
blind? Or is the vicious GOP spin machine really that
powerful? Why, yes, yes, it is. And isn't it just the
funniest thing?
But, wait, there's more. The GOP is also accusing
Kerry of a nasty bout of "flip flopping" on a handful
of issues. Griping that he's changed his mind on a few
key pieces of legislation, not the least of which is
his support for war on Iraq. And the USA Patriot Act.
Which is, you know, sort of true.
But, then again, not really, not considering how
nearly every single congressperson was equally duped
by the vicious GOP war machine, the outright WMD lies
and BushCo's post-9/11 propaganda and the invidious
USA Patriot Act midnight ream-through. Hell, Kerry was
just as misled as the rest of us.
Is Kerry culpable for his own choices and for making
errors in judgment and for not always being absolutely
flawlessly progressive in his decisions? Hell, yes.
But does his record of such errors pale in comparison
to Bush's mile-high ream of lies and flip-flops and
outright slaps in the face of your humanity? Oh my God
yes, yes, it does.
But lo, let us not hold back any longer. Let us now
laugh out loud, hold our sides in pain, gasp for air
as we look at the BushCo "flip flop" record, in sum.
Let us observe the short list of issues about which
BushCo has either completely reversed his position, or
has simply openly lied to the nation about to further
his administration's shockingly small-minded,
self-serving corporate agenda:
The creation of the 9/11 commission. The Iraq WMD
investigation. The Israeli/Palestine conflict. Nation
building. Same-sex marriage. Veterans' benefits. The
value of Osama bin Laden. The Saddam/al Qaeda link.
North Korea. The U.N. vote on Iraq. "Mission
accomplished." Ahmed Chalabi. Steel tariffs. The
Department of Homeland Security. Campaign-finance
reform. Energy policy. Hybrid cars. The deficit.
Assault weapons. Abortion. Science. Global warming.
The environment.
And the list, as they say, goes on. And on. And on.
It's a masterful deflection by the GOP spin doctors,
really, away from Bush's truly appalling record of
flagrant deceit and his title as the hands-down worse
environmental president in the history of the United
States, toward Kerry's much more highly respected
record, wherein he has, among other accomplishments,
earned the highest possible rating from various
international environmental groups.
And, finally, isn't it funny -- in a nauseating,
soul-mauling sort of way -- that 52 American soldiers
have died in BushCo's completely useless little Iraq
war just this month alone. How very touching, their
noble sacrifice. Too bad Bush doesn't care.
Let us just laugh and laugh at how the media barely
covers these pedestrian, boring deaths anymore,
instead allowing the GOP to turn the debate into one
about a miserable, lost war that happened nearly 30
years ago, all while U.S. soldiers continue to die
every day, right now, for no justifiable reason
whatsoever.
Yes, let us laugh until we cry. Let us note how the
Bush-induced death toll is now up to 964 U.S. soldiers
-- a staggering 855 above the total since the
infamous, insulting "Mission accomplished" quip --
which is, if the GOP plays it just so, right on track
to reach 1,000 U.S. dead by the time the Republican
convention kicks into high gear. What fun!
And that 1,000th soldier will fall in abject pain, his
or her life utterly wasted for a cause that never
really existed, that no one actually believes in, that
was all built on a lie to begin with. And he or she
will die just as all the war hawks and all the
right-wing homophobes and all the cigar-chompin'
corporate CEOs gather in New York and pop their
champagne and cheer the true triumvirate o' GOP
happiness: God, guns and money.
Yes, it's enough to make you laugh out loud. Until you
don't.
[ Excerpted from "Notes & Errata" by Mark Morford, August 27, 2004, "http://sfgate.com/. Mark Morford is a columnist for SFGate.com, San Francisco, CA. ]
posted by Rev. Rick Mitchell, PhD at 2:00 PM
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